The company had buka puasa (break fast) event last night with the orphanage kids.

My colleague adopted a young boy, about 14 – 15 years old. They got him a new pair of black Converse. As he tried on his Converse, my colleague said, “Ketat tak?”

A few seconds silent, then he replied, “Kalau pakai dengan stokin kot (mungkin).”

So he put on his socks and tried again. My colleague touched the top of the shoes, to find out if there’s any gap between the toes and top of the shoe. “Uish, ni memang ketat nih. Kena tukar.”

“Tak pe je kot.”

“Takpe, nanti kitorg tukar, then kitorg hantar kat rumah, ok ?”

As we were trying to figure out the best size to get, I asked “Selalu pakai size apa?”

“Tak pernah beli kasut.”

I tried to not make any reaction. It got me speechless for a few seconds. Neurons in my mind sparked, “you took your ability of trying different size of shoes for granted, right?”

I looked at his feet, thinking if we have the same height, most likely we have the same shoe size. So I quickly asked him to stand up. “Ok, tukar satu size besar (one size up) ok kot.”


Another colleague took care of his superior’s adopted orphan, about 5 years old. So, I tagged along and just play with this kid and his friends.

The event ended at about 1030. The kids walked out of the hall and gathered at the open area while waiting for the bus. For 30 mins,  we layan the kids. Some were refusing to share their can drink, and the next minute they were taking turn sipping it. A cute girl ran around the area and giggled while being chased. One boy stood at one spot for 15 mins, no movement whatsoever till one kid tried to pull him away from that spot. Funny how recalling these memories made me smile now…

At about 11, they needed help to walk the kids to the bus, about 200 metres away. So we helped out, and I walked with Malik, the 5 year-old boy whom I found to be quite well behaved, even though quite active through out the night. While we were walking to the bus and holding hands, sometimes he counted his steps… sometimes he hopped… At one point, it got me, “I could actually be a mother.”

As we approached the bus, he said in his cute voice, “Nanti datang la lagi.”

Those words went straight to my heart. It was as if those words meant he’s been enjoying our presence, at the same time acknowledging that we have no blood relation whatsoever… No obligation for us to stay with him or follow him, but he wished to see us again.


I could be sharing the stories, but you will only know the feeling when you experience it.

That night made me reflect on my existence, my blessings and my future.

My existence isn’t just about me and my immediate surrounding. Sometimes we have to reach further to also benefit others that are outside our circle. I was reminded of how the existence of the rich is to help the poor. In this case, it’s to show some love, to give some of that love we receive from our parents, to those kids who don’t have any parents.

As we get distracted with many things in life, we take the small ones for granted. We treat trying on shoes as a norm, while for some, it’s a privilege. When we go to restaurants with family, each one has our own set of meal, while for some, they have to share. We let those blessings passed by. How lucky for them, because even though small things for us are privilege for them and sharing is their norm, most likely they can feel the blessing of Allah, the barakah.

The night, once in a while, I was triggered about my future, especially about being a mother. There’s a sense of understanding in me on what true love means…and what ikhlas (sincerity) is. That night, I vowed to be a loving mother when I’m one. Meaning I must start now and be a loving person.



Do you get annoyed when you don’t get it?

Ketika berjalan pulang dari pasar malam, lalu sebelah Restoran Mariah. Restoran ni tengah buat makan-makan untuk peniaga dan pelanggan, sempena nak masuk Ramadhan. Waktu tu, ada ustaz sedang beri pengisian. 

Yang sempat ditangkap, “…Sebagai peniaga, bila menjalankan perniagaan, kita mesti ada taqwa.” 

Kadang-kadang perkataan yang kita selalu dengar, sentiasa hilang makna. Cliche.

Kalau tengok terjemahan Al Quran… tiba-tiba terjemahan pun pakai perkataan Bahasa Arab yang dirumikan e.g. “bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah.”
(hmm kay… Saya kurang faham di situ -.-‘ )

Terima kasih kepada teknologi langit terbuka, hasil pencarian makna merumuskan:-

Bayangkan ada padang luas yang kita kena lalui, tapi ada periuk api tertanam, tak tahu kat mana. Kita sedar kewujudan, dan cuba untuk sentiasa berjaga-jaga… with mixture of fear, trying to be cautious or mindful of our steps… cuba untuk sentiasa alert… Kan?

(Ok. Faham cikgu) 

Learn from the Battle Horses

Imagine this visual, like in a movie… It goes something like this…

“The battle horses are charging, panting… And at their feet, there are sparks flying. The horses must be charging really fast, because even with the morning dew, sparks are coming off the horses’ feet. Even the dust rises, making it hard to see the surrounding, as if engulfing them. And suddenly, the battle horses emerge in the middle of the enemy…”

So now, what happen to the battle horses??

In Surah Al-‘Adiyat (The Coursers, The Chargers) , the story about battle horses is told first, and stops there. Allah then goes straight into mentioning mankind being ungrateful to his Lord…

But why such order & example?

Mentioning such visual sparked the interest of the Arabs in Makkah at that time, especially when they seek entertainment through stories (poetry), and really love their battle horses. This is how Allah grabbed their attention, before mentioning the real deal (which is in the second part of the Surah).

Battle horses are known for its loyalty to the master, in return to the master’s love. However, Allah mentioned that this isn’t the same for mankind. We often forget.

This is somewhat a reminder to the people, in which Allah reminds through example that they could relate to.

Takeaways: As teachers, businessman, coaches, captains, parents, friends, etc … we learn that to deliver a point to someone else, we must be able to spark their interest first. We then must use clear examples that the audience can relate to.



Gems from Surah Al-Fatihah (The Opening)

Key takeaways from Divine Speech Seminar – Literary Characteristics of the Quran, on first chapter of the Quran….
This was presented by Ustadh Nouman Ali Khan, from Bayyinah Institute.

In Surah Al-Fatihah (The Opening), why “iyyaka na’budu” (You, we worship) first, and then “iyyaka nasta’in” (You, we seek help)?

Why the arrangement is so?

1) “You, we worship” is an acknowledgement to the verses before. Saying that we agree that He is the One we give praise & thanks to, The Loving & Caring, Master of the Worlds.

2) The concept of “do first, then seek help”. Many Muslims today tend to make dua (prayer) only, without putting effort, something that is not right.

3) Allah 1st, as priority. When we seek help (nasta’in) it is for ourselves. When we worship (na’budu), it is to Allah.


Dalam Surah al-Fatihah, kenapa “iyyaka na’budu” (kepada-Mu kami sembah) disebut dahulu, kemudiannya “iyyaka nas’tain” (kepada-Mu kami mohon pertolongan) ?

1) “Iyyaka na’budu” merupakan ayat yang mengakui atau sebagai penerimaan terhadap siapa Allah secara ringkas yg disebut dalam ayat2 sebelumnya.

2) Buat atau cuba dulu (“na’budu”) kemudian cari bantuan (“nasta’in”). Tidak hanya berdoa semata2. Mesti ada usaha.

3) Allah #1. “nasta’in” – pertolongan itu utk kita. “Na’budu” – sembah itu pada Allah.

(The more we know this first Chapter… inshaAllah our prayer is more than movements n recitation)

His Mercy

2013 ended on a great note for me. This year, the chapter closed with Twins of Faith Family Festival, an Islamic conference, from 28-29 December. Very inspiring.

It’s not TOF that I’m going to focus here. But how did I get to TOF? What have I faced? How TOF just became the platform to recharge belief, my faith?

You know… I will continue later.

#2 Just Do It

2012-08-27 22.47.03

Nike always say that and it sounds quite cliche to the ears.

01.01.14 – Head was pulsating as soon as I woke up but the thought of “just do it, don’t delay” came to mind and I forced myself to get off the bed. Simply because I’ve been postponing to get back on track. I haven’t workout properly for quite some time, so why not go out for a short run and fitness session with friends, which happened to be on today. Luckily, a friend who was also late to the session came at the same time so we decided to do half of usual loop, and waited for others. We did strength workout using the bar at Shah Alam Lake. Truly, I’ve a lot of work to do to build up my muscle strength.


It is easy to stay still when the body doesn’t feel like moving. When the will is weak, it is easy to give in.  “Just do it” encompasses the willingness to take that first step, as well as trust in the notion that all else will follow after that first step.


Weekly Writing Challenge: Characters that Haunt You

Character that haunts me is Chuck. I find doll to be very spooky especially those with ability to close their eyes when they lie down, and have blushed cheeks. It started when I was 10 years old or so, and I was at my nanny’s house. I remember the family was watching Chuck and I was standing far away from the tv. That movie, also happened to be the earliest scary movie I watched, as far as I could remember…